Dealing with the loss of a child.

 

aoife hand

I can’t believe how long it has been since my last post but sometimes events take over and things ‘take a back seat’.

At 20.29 on Thursday May 1 2014 our daughter Aoife Hope Morris was born ‘sleeping’ at 24 weeks and 3 days. To say this has caused pain and loss for our family would be an understatement but we continue to take each day one at a time. With the support of the family and freinds we are moving on and trying to create a lasting legacy for our little girl.

When Aoife was born the midwives at St. Michael’s Hospital in Bristol were amazing. They gave us a memory box donated by Sands that contained everything we needed for the few precious hours with our daughter. This box has already become so special to us and it is where we store all our memories of her and the things we do in her name. We now want to tell the world of our daughter and celebrate her part in our life. She will remain forever in our thoughts and hearts. On June 22 we took part in Bristol’s Biggest Bike ride, raising money for Sands. So although you do not know us maybe you can spare a few coins to help other bereaved parents. You can do that here. Just Giving.

As a writer I have expressed my feeling through words and here is one of the first poems about the girl I never knew.

Aoife

When they said it was a girl I could not believe I had lost my daughter.

 

Lost the chance at 5 to tidy up your dolls

The chance at 11 to pick you up from ballet school

The chance at 16 to shout ‘you’re room is in a mess’

The chance at 18 to say that you wear too short a dress

 

But you would have been a Morris so things would not strike true

You would have been yourself and for the others too.

 

When they said it was a girl I thought about my daughter.

 

At 5 you and Alex are playing with all his toys

At 11 you score a goal that is better than the boys

At 16 I hear your music emotive from the start

At 18 give a smile that’s melting all boys’ hearts

 

Whatever you did my angel

You would always be my girl

The image of your mother

That left me in whirl

So as each day passes

And the pain of missing you

One thing I’ll always know

Is that Aoife would be you

 

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