Losing a child….again

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Back in July of this year I posted that it had been a while since my last post and then things changed again. We lost a daughter Aoife at 24 weeks on May 1st then on September 12th we lost a son Lucas at 12 weeks. Poor Lucas had Edwards’ syndrome, also known as trisomy 18, which is a serious genetic condition caused by an additional copy of chromosome 18 in some or all of the cells in the body. This caused Anencephaly, a serious birth defect in which the baby’s skull does not develop. From loving life with our beautiful son Alex we became bereaved parents twice in the space of 4 months. Fortunately we were able to hold beautiful funerals for both our children and Alex’s zest for life keeps us going. I looked at my blog the other day and the memories of how much I enjoyed it came back. So here we go….again! I wrote 2 poems for Lucas, one from my perspective as a grieving father and the other from Alex’s point of view. We had a picture of Aoife on display for a while but it became too much to look at and one day I noticed Alex look at it.

Lucas Havard Morris

A light and guardian

In those short weeks we came to love you

My little boy

Our rainbow baby

Only to be taken away from us so soon

You now join Aoife as our light and guardian

Two beautiful children lost before life

Watching over us as we move on

We will talk of you and say your name aloud

Giving you life

So that you never truly die

There are no goodbyes for us

Wherever you are

Wherever we are

You will always be in our hearts

A bright light shining with love

My Brother Lucas

When I held my sister’s picture I did not understand

That she ever existed and I would not hold her hand.

When Daddy talked of my brother, I would not see his face

Or ever run around creating a mess around the place.

What would you have been like? Would we have had lots of fun?

Playing with our cars and bikes while running in the sun.

Would we have shared our toys and laughed a lot out loud?

Or splashed around the paddling pool and sliding down a slide.

I will never know my brother or hold his tiny hand

Never have to comfort him when he’s fallen in the sand.

Every time I hear your name and mummy sheds a tear

I’ll remember to treasure your name and make you feel quite near.

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